Came back from Phuket, reality just seems to strike back with the loan I borrowed from the organisation and I somehow knew something's going to screw up abit. Finally settled on it today. Mum asked if I have enough to pay back the loans starting next month. I just plainfully reassured her that I'll try my best on it. *nods* =]

Dad is as usual...he's like a teenager to me nowadays. At times worrying about life and how the future lies for my family but I guess I grew stronger on it. The idea of divorce slowly accepting in my head but all in all that shall be the last resort.

Life kinda in shambles...sometimes home doesn't feel like home at all. Sad isn't it? When I look at other parents with their grown up kids and together, I kinda feel left out; wondering why he's not like normal dads; picking up his kid or asking how's life for me even though the kid is an adult already. Somehow, he's nowhere part in my late life...I'm not even sure if I wanna call him for my convocation ceremony now cuz I'm ashamed of what he's doing now. Lack of love and concern from my old man himself.

For now, all I could do was to look at him, look away and shakes head.

Work has been plain normal. I tried to be patient. I tried to make things better, I hope and guess. Take it along as each passing day goes by. I made friends with patients...and I feel =] when they smile. I remembered I made contact with this patient- an old lady suffering from heart attack. When she held my hand and introduced me to another patient she was smiling and said I am her friend. She was very nice and I remembered what she said to me..."We don't live long and anything can happen. We should never be arrogant to others while we're still living. Sometimes when we have a lot of money, we're still not happy. Yet those who don't have much money, living life with what they have, they're happy and thankful for what they have and to be able to live life."

What she said kinda strikes me somehow. Somehow it has a wee bit impact on my life that I should be thankful that I'm living. =) At this moment, I shall remain small and petite with few pay and it's ok for the moment.. That everything I prayed for shall be alright for the future. That as long as I live healthy in life.

Oh yeah on another note, me and family (excl. D) went to fish & co for lunch on sunday. Had a nice dinner and told my mom to order anything she wants. So we had seafood feast, pasta and swordfish collar. nice =). i hope she enjoys it.